sometimes, i wonder if the closer i get to a person, the less important i become to him or her. its like:
i get neglected (cos the person claims i noe wat he or she wld sae already aniwae)
i get physically abused (cos the person is sure i wldnt mind)
i get verbally abused (cos the person is DAMNED sure i wldnt mind)
i get insulted (cos the person is realli realli damn sure i wldnt mind at all)
i get anger vented upon me (cos as a fren, im always there for u)
i get a whole lotta shit attitude (cos as a fren, i shld noe wat to do: the right thing at the right time)
i get ignored (cos i shld noe better)
and the worst thing is
im not supposed to talk back. try to advice u wif wat i realli truly feel. cos u jolly well noe dats not wat i like to hear.
i realli dunno. i realli dun understand. it realli hurts.
and this sux.
cos im realli want to say wat i truly feel.
cos im supposed to realli be the person they think they noe. but wat if...
im not?
wat if im juz behaving lidat so dat u can feel better despite my feeling shitty?
but oh well used to it. juz hope i can continue my job as a gd fren. for that, im willing to not mind all of the above.
but sometimes it realli juz... unnerves me. makes me feel all awkward and not knowing wat to do at all.
tokin abt nobody in particular. but definitely things happen to get me started on my thinking.
oh well shall seek answers and some comfort tmr when i go to church.
God... why oh why?
i will choose to listen
and believe
the voice of truth...
