yay! yet another week is down. why im yay-ing is cos kasster sent me this ORD countdown thingy. and it wld tell me how many days i haf b4 my ORD. it's pretty depressing actually, instead of wad kasster thinks, which is dat it can cheer us up. hahaha but oh wells, dats another 7 days biting my dust.
think it was a fun week yea. at least it wasnt too much disappointment and stress as the past few weeks haf been. saturday i OFFICIALLY REMOVED MY BRACES. for those who have seen me since then and not noticed... DAMN YOU'RE LOUSY. hahaha ooops sunday we went to e2max to watch cry wolf, which was pretty... anti-climax... kinda reminds me of the village. which was another sian diao show... yep hmms went on to newton life church at night to listen rev tong. hes good man hes good. but surprisingly he uses very little bible verses to back up wad he says. and i found a really nice hymn there. hahaha waiting for a chance to KOP it and bring it to singapore life church. hahaha plagarism sial
monday had a special guest. hahaha ling visited me for lunch. im so proud of the gal hahaha first time take test pass liao! hahaha tho she gave herself CERTAIN ADVANTAGES uhhhhh hahaha JOY IF U READ THIS, U NOE WAD IM GONNA SAY. hahaha oh btw ling, so sad, none of the shirts i looked at fit. hahaha i nid to slim down even more... :(
tuesday was juz work. played alotta foosball b4 going home tho.
wednesday... went to mambo at night. hahaha i guess it was fun. except for the occasional shoving and pushing and all dat crap. oh and a certain bastard. hahaha i claim to have been heck care abt him but when i think abt it now im still pissed. muz let go sial... hmms learnt a few songs liao hahaha cool. ling wants me to go every alternate wednesday........................... lets juz say NS men dun haf finances.
thursday stayed home till pretty late. had to sleep sumhow. went to dentist to get my retainers b4 trooping down to bugis to meet up wif khailin. yeap we had some dessert, watched a funny show and enjoyed a nice dinner. it was a fun night.
ytd... went to work for the morning and left at 1240pm to meet up wif joy. hahaha we had lunch at tori q which was quite nice actually. and it isnt everywhere dat u get to hear her comment abt sticks and balls, as well as "tight............. virgin..........." hahaha ooops. its not wad the most of u think. but as joy wld say, u can think wadeva u want. hahaha hmms went to watch stay alive. i guess it was pretty freaky. but the lousy sound system of gv saved me. cos usually i get shocked by the sound effects. i think joy watched a quarter of the show. she had her eyes covered for half the time, and the remaining half was watched through her fingers, probably cutting off half of the screen. walked ard, talked abt shopping, but nv really did anything proper. haha eh on arh. two more weeks till pay day sia.
this morning was spent playing wif mavis my niece. it got really boring, cos she juz din understand the rules of certain card games. like uno. happy family. snap. donkey. and wadeva for that matter. juz had lunch. oh wells dats abt it for the week. so... till nxt time. ciaoz
feeling 2nd-class
well the worse is over. at least for this year. i think.
woots imf is over man. im thinking of goin on a shopping spree to reward myself for tahan-ing this period of time. hahaha but no money oso... :( so sad hor. haha
hmms think these two weeks have been really depressing. we were warned beforehand that it would take a toll on us, even when we're on off as well. and the two incidents that happened really knocked me off balance. yea plus this and that this and that. but honestly i din haf the worst job. think manpower side really flipped. they can not go home for 48 hours straight. i dunno how dey do it. but really earn my respect sial.
abit of thinking. after last night's talk wif the peeps and after reading guan's blog.
kinda revolves ard weder i shld let my parents noe wad i do sumtimes when i come home late. i understand i shldnt hafta hide anything. y not be honest so that they would just, sooner or later, get used to the fact that i am such and that they would accept me as i am. abit of booze and late night clubbing aint harmful wad.
and why should i be rushing home as early as possible when i'm already 19? i shld be out there living me independent life already. im even a policeman, so i shld well be able to take care of myself. y listen to my mum's hoos and haas?
well think it boils down not to how i look at my mum. but how i look at myself.
some things, when ur not in the family u dun understand. i haf a responsibility to my parents, as they haf a responsibility to me. they wish to stay up to wait for me its cos they feel responsible for my safe home-coming, as well as worried abt my well-being. they are afraid i may lose control and perhaps become this havoc kid one day. and perhaps that this act of staying up till i get home, wld get me to understand this feeling.
they succeeded i must say. i do understand that feeling already.
but understanding does not lead to compliance. im damn sure many ppl out there noes smoking aint good for their health in the long run, but still puff. im sure there are many ppl out there who think that sex shld be sumthin put aside for holy matrimony, but still do it. understanding does not lead to compliance.
so wad issit dat makes a difference? i feel that it is my responsibility to them. it is this feeling that i owe them something, that makes me say, it's time for me to go home. similarly, it's this sense of responsibility to my friends when i say, i think u shld go home. lemme send u home. it's the same. and if ur asking me wad do i owe my frenz? cos dey haf played a part in making me the person i am. and if ur asking me wad do i owe my parents. cos dey played the whole part in making me. literally. and bringing me up to 173 cm and 85kg today (99 when at peak). so when i say i cant go home late, it aint guilt. it aint shame. it's me trying to be what my parents tried to bring me up as. trying to be what they hope i can be. it's a noble cause. i respect that cause. but apparently it has pretty much failed on me.
and i noe im not fulfilling dat hope. cos behind em i do things. which they would be sad to find out one day. and it's not just once or twice as jialing and khailin kindly pointed out to me. it's been many times. so many i realise im getting numbed. i guess wad i heard recently at a talk was pretty true. the difference between instinct and conscience, is that we can deny our conscience. until one day we're numbed to it. that it doesnt remind us anymore. i'm pretty sure i've been denying my conscience and following my instinct all the while i attempt to shield my actions from my parents.
im not perfect. my actions contradict. my thoughts are ridiculous. but dats juz cos i wanna haf fun.
but as long as i respect my mum, and my dad, say hi to momma's boy.
i wonder how much of a difference u cld make to my situation right now if u were right here beside me...ok imf one week down. it's been crazy. sumhow i think i can take it, but the feeling that soon i wun be able to keeps hanging ard me. think the stress on the first day was the most. but working wif the better boss of the three makes it alot more relaxed i guess. plus first day i unfamiliar wif everything, so was gettin alot of scrutiny. but 2nd night onwards guess i was pretty steady even wif the biggest shots ard.
hardly haf rest thats the most difficult part. the severe lack of sleep and proper chances to sleep makes it really bad. i've moved on to double shots of coffee. soon i wld need triple. and my only chance to haf some fun and relax was quite blown. but a walk thru town alone kinda calmed me down. and i met two of my jnrs also, zhuipei and lapyip. talked to em abt studies and really felt thankful that i made it thru my a lvls and am actually on track to the uni course i wanna study.
and on the bright side imf is one week down. wif one week to go. soon it wld all be over man. and i managed to get an early driving test date! 31st october! hopefully i'll pass man... oh if by jialing's theory that the more ppl u tell abt ur test date the more likely u'll fail, den im pretty much dead by publicising it here. hahaha oh well heck larh.
last night went to meet up wif the peeps to celebrate yingyi's bday. guess i had some fun. but wasnt high enough. not enough drinks to go around oso. hai today managed to go church. had some krispy kreme which were delivered over by celine hahaha but i wonder if i was supposed to have any. afterall it seems to be only addressed to rjc... oh wells :P i ate it anyway.
shall blog again when i have the time. till then!
you are missed. i have so much to rant and complain but i just don't wanna end up being childish and hurt those dearest to me... how i wish you were just that same ten minutes away for the past 8 years
there is a limit.
you know what. i'm not even gonna blog about it.
hai well another week of absolute insanity.
cant rmb wad i did on sat and sun last week. my mind is really pretty blank now.
the week was crazy, with cue cards ops orders and regular work.
wed supposed to meet joy for a nigh out. but things din really work out. oh wells. 1.5 hrs by the pool was ok i guess. it was nice larh.
ytd bought my new palm. still got plenty of stuff to learn as to how to use it.
today imf first shift. night shift. so im gonna take a nap and eat dinner and den go to station le. wun blog for a long time i think. see how loh.
ciaoz
please. if you or your friend is interested in buying a brand new unopened from package 512mb ipod shuffle, tell me. we cld discuss about it.
this week was way worse than the previous. the work was crazy. i was busy everyday. no time to even read newspapers. and one day cldnt even eat lunch.
starting off frm saturday... i cant really rmb wad happened last sat. oh i think i went to meet marc n nel in the aftnn. really short while tho. den left to meet old man lee shu he for a treat at marches. hahaha the ribs was an extra large portion. it was nice to meet some of the really old teammates back from tchs. den cheonged downt to timbre to meet the class as it was renie's farewell party. the pizza was good, so was the live music. but realised all of concave scream's songs sounded... pretty much the same. only the first song really perked me up.
sunday... was CHURCH DAY! went to church, had bible study, as usual like every week. hmms cheonged to joys hse for badminton foosball and swimming. hahaha it was really fun. but my forearm was sore from all the hitting the ball under the net. went on to watch movies after spaghetti in the KTV room. watched gigolo and abit of hero. hahaha gigolo was lame. hero was cheem. left to meet up wif khai to pass her dat ridiculous slip of paper. hahaha the cat loitering around the street we met up was in love with me. it followed me all the way to the bus stop!
well monday tuesday thursday friday were all dead boring. only wednesday was a happy day cos i met up wif jialing! hahaha been a while since we had met up. went on to eat at curry favour! or was it flavour? hahaha i dunno it was really nice. the spicy pork don was cool. ling n i walked ard abit at raffles city, catching up on stuff n all. got in touch abit wif my feminine side as well, as she helped me buff two of my nails. hahaha sent her home and went home myself. yea it was really the only happy day of the week.
pls let the coming week be fun. cos the week after next, wld be HELL
