well it's probably one of the worst weeks of my life. sick since sunday. the last proper i meal i had was the ramen lunch wif khailin on sunday. think i lost a few kilos due to the illness too. its tonsillitis. yea meaning the two lobes at the gateway to my throat are swollen. some ppl nid it cut off. i've had it more than once already, but nv nid to cut b4. apparently this time oso dun nid. so the whole week was spent in bed, not being able to get up for long each time. yea. in a way this entry is juz to complain. i really felt tortured. but now im more or less better. no more fever. and can eat abit. my stomach not used to oily or larger morsels of food yet. juz nid more time to recover i guess. hopefully soon. cldnt even go to the church camp these two days. its sad.




that i've been fighting to let you go
some days i make it through
and then there's nights that never end

well its yet another year for me. now im 19 :) well i guess it isnt much. hahaha birthdays seem to lose its meaning as u get older and older. less and less reason to get hyped up over it aint it? well, but thanx to a bunch of frenz, i was cheerful more or less the whole day! hahaha heres em in chronological order:

ann, hahaha early msg sial!
runi, right on time!
bunk 4, it was the funniest msg of the day!
mindy, years since i saw u!
serena, din think u wld rmb!
celine, haha expensive call!!! *hugs*
marcus, i will continue looking!
guanhow, shi de sheng ri kuai le!
yingyi, haha 16th jun is hereby proclaimed as lide day!
lilian, thanx for all the concern!
weisi, another one i din think wld noe my bday! haha
heidi, im so sorry! but i found out in the end mah... :S
jialing, mwa!
qianyi, yes towkay!
ethel, yes laopo! (or ex... hai hahaha)
bu min, thanx bro!
genshun, take care over there in taman negara! God bless!
regina, nxt week k!
pastor koh, hahaha im in all blue! not green!
cyn li, hahaha u made it in time!
zhiyin, sial lah bro... hahaha happy birthday to you! (17th jun)

ytd was interesting. cos it was ultra slack. the day started off with eddie scaring me twice after his powder bath frm naresh. wad a birthday present sial. haha den morning drills were cancelled. so we had... LAW LESSONS instead! haha after lunch we cleaned up our bunk frm the aftermath of the powder bath and by the time we were done, we had to go to NEWater visitor centre! it was FANTASTIC! at least wave was. hahaha but its quite interesting larh, getting to noe how its done and all dat. the best thing was, we booked out at 420pm! hahaha shiok boh! took a cab home and got ready, went to take my new specs which dun look any much different, hahaha and cheonged to bugis for steamboat buffet! haha it wasnt really really good, but heck, i ate all i cld. haha thanx mum dad grandma and bro for the dinner! :) after dat i went down to city hall to meet supposedly jialing, hahaha but turned out, marc guan nel clara jess n jingmin all came too. hahaha and b4 i forget...

THANX TO MARC KORN NEL LING KHAILIN QIANYI WEIWEI PEARLYN ETHEL HUISHAN FOR THE SHOES! haha tho im pretty sure sum of u haven even seen the shoes yet. but thanx aniwae!! i was quite sad i wasnt financially equipped to buy it in the aftnn, but by nite i had it already! hahaha wheeeeeee!

oh yea. so ling brought us to this place called... timbre! haha unfortunately wads meant to be a surprise was ruined a week ago by laykhim. hahaha she already brought us there b4. haha but its a nice place! it was there we drank plenty of margherita or however u spell it, where i had a bite of super shiok sirloin steak, watched the owning of argentina over serbia and montenegro, and listened to some of the best live rock i've ever heard. haha mr brightside, video killed the radio star and fix you were amongst the best songs. that 1979 song was good too hahaha. in other words, i had a happy night! :) thanx for planning all this for me ling! that msg i sent to u was heartfelt. :)

that since i lost you
i lost myself

to my little one,
hahaha u sucker call me at such a time. haha but thank God i picked up. cos it cheered me up for the whole day :) and im not a year older than you larh... haha juz half. dun ask for forgiveness, i was juz upset for myself. which was plain selfish. so i shld be sorry. for giving u a hard time. i miss you too... i miss clapping hard in front of ur face to make ur fringe fly apart, i miss making fun of you, i miss ur oeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, i miss you then asking me to make fun of u again in front of other ppl so that everyone can laugh at u ;p i miss your dwarven sniper, i miss wanting to take bus wif u home but instead get a ride from ur dad, i miss walking wif u to ur condo gate, i miss walking back home wif a smile frm there... its kinda hard to express. you gotta take more care of urself in the cold weather there k. and of cuz all the infamiliarities and remoteness. but dun feel lonely. u got a bolster to hug, letters to read, pictures to look at (at least a thousand in that mosaic, den plus the photo album haha), and persons to call whenever ur down. im sorry i may not always be there for u (not at all like u claim :S), since im contributing to building a safe and secure singapore, but i will always try my utmost. for that you have my word. i love ya too. and ur always always always in my prayers. remember jeremiah 29:11!!!!!!!!! it's a verse we both shld rmb. plus joy of course. hahaha. love, the.. bear (i need a more macho nick)

well it has been quite some time since i blogged normal happy entries like this. been a pretty depressed person lately. dun really noe wad made me stand up again, but definitely hafta thank all my buddies out there. u noe who u are. in little and small ways, u dudes haf made my cheek muscles slowly make a turn upwards. i'll try my best not to fall back in again.

shit last night's music is damn good. but dey r only playing again nxt friday at midnite! MIDNIGHT! how i go home???????????? dammit




a few minutes of silent prayer in the lvl 5 hall let me realise i am in the arms, i haf every right, and dat i mean everything

to You.

"I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Je 29:11

tay lide.
looking to revive a dead blog and renew dead thoughts.

if i rise on the wings of the dawn, if i settle on the far side of the sea, even there Your right hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast.
psalms 139:9-10